WHAT I’M LISTENING TO: Matt Nathanson. Totally talented singer/songwriter guy…not to mention a complete cutie. He’s based out of San Francisco. He’s playing at Slim’s in the city next week. Damn. I’m broke. Sucks! (Every time I say the name “Slim’s”, I think of that line from Love Jones… “Come on, slim…f*ck your man, I ain’t worried about him.” Aaaahhh….Love Jones. Hey…If Jennifer Love Hewitt married somebody named Jones, her name would be Love Jones. Heh)

WHAT I’M READING: Lake House by James Patterson

COOL WEBSITE I’VE RECENTLY DISCOVERED: http://www.daretosing.com. It is freakin’ hilarious!!!! The concept of the site is that people who think they can sing (and a handful who actually can) upload mp3’s of themselves daring to sing (or daring to suck, as the case may be). Other people then download their attempts and are able to rate them on a scale of 1 to 10 and provide comments.

Oh….my…God. That’s comedy, people. An added bonus is that some of the people on there actually are talented. Jazzybagz is fantastic. Also, that site is how I originally discovered Ernie Halter (http://www.erniehalter.com), because he posted a Mayer cover which was discussed on mystupidmouth.com. But, the main function of the site, for me at least, is comic relief.

WHAT’S BEEN GOING ON: Man, I realize that I had complete PMS the last time I wrote! The tone of almost everything on that post is complete irritation. LOL Well, I’m back to my old cheerful self.

However, before I completely exit the kingdom of bitchiness I do have to lodge a complaint. Remember in my last blog, I told about how I had emailed Five O’Clock Shadow to see if they are really breaking up? I didn’t post the email here, but I will now:

>To: focs@focs.com
>Cc:
>Subject: BREAKING UP???? NNNNOOOO!!!!!
>Date: Tue, 07 Oct 2003 21:13:36 -0800

>Hi there!

>You don’t know me, but I am a big fan. I heard that you are breaking
>up at the end of the year. Is this true? Is the person that I heard
>it from crazy/on drugs? Joking. I realize those two things don’t
>have to be mutually exclusive 🙂 Anyway, this is so incredibly sad
>if it’s true.

>I have to bribe my inner two-year-old to do unpleasant tasks (such as
>paying bills, doing laundry and working out) and listening to your
>music is one of the major carrots I dangle for her. 🙂 Trust me, if
>y’all stop putting out new tunes, it’s highly possible that I will
>turn into an out-of-shape, dirty-clothes-wearing,
>currently-in-bankruptcy-court former fan. 🙂

>Come now…I don’t think any of us wants that!

>Seriously, though, if you are breaking up, I am sad about that. You
>guys have a truly unique and quality sound that will be missed by
>many people, including myself. I only hope that you are pursuing
>solo projects so that I can still manage to drop some coin on y’all’s
>behalf. Wow…I used two apostrophes in one word. Cool.

>If you have a moment, feel free to write me back and end my misery of
>uncertainty. 🙂 God knows I’d appreciate it! 🙂

>Thanks so much for your time!

>Melanie
>http://www.auntiemel.com

I felt that was, if not my finest comedic writing of all time, at least worth a small chuckle.

So, Oren tells Evie… “Yeah, one of your friends emailed me this week, and it was the most hilarious thing I’ve read all week. She said we satiated her inner two-year-old or something.” But the way she related his tone, it was more like he meant hilarious-psycho than hilarious-funny. Not to mention that the way he explained the “inner two-year-old” comment was completely out of the context of the email. I am very irritated by this. Not to mention the fact that he STILL HASN’T WRITTEN ME BACK! Way to keep in touch with the fans, man. Ridicule their emails behind their backs so they know you’ve read them, but don’t bother to respond.

So, listen…if you are reading this, dude, let me tell you something…it was MEANT TO BE FUNNY! It was not meant to be literal! My life is not actually going to fall apart if you guys break up. I was exaggerating for comic effect. But, it doesn’t really matter. I’m pretty much over you guys breaking up at this point. David Ryan Harris can “satiate” my inner two-year-old.