Don’t ask me how I came across this as I was researching something for a client…sometimes click trails are just extremely convoluted.  :D But I did. I came across an article in the Cheboygan News about the Cheboygan County Fair Queen. And it BLEW. ME. THE. F*#&$. AWAY!

So, here’s the deal. Six chicks competed for the apparently illustrious title of Cheboygan County Fair Queen in Cheboygan, Michigan last Sunday. Here are the four that placed:

Cheboygan County Fair Queen Court

Cheboygan County Fair Queen Court

Cheboygan County Fair Queen Winners

Cheboygan County Fair Queen Winners

 

OK, so, fair enough…I live in Los Angeles, not Michigan, so maybe I have a skewed sense of physical beauty.  Maybe there’s just not a huge pool of talent in good ole Cheboygan?  Right?  Am I right?

 

WRONG!

 

This is one of the two girls that DID NOT MAKE THE TOP FOUR.  Out of SIX!

 

Cheboygan County Fair Queen Wannabe

Cheboygan County Fair Queen Wannabe

 

I’m sorry, but in what universe does that girl not beat those four other girls by a galactic effing MILE in a beauty competition???

Is Cheboygan, like, BIZARRO world or something?

Hello, Newman.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PS – Before anyone starts to berate me for being mean to the sensitive little kiddies, let’s remember that these girls entered themselves, of their own free will, into a competition where they *asked* people to evaluate, judge, and rank them on their physical attributes.  I’m merely taking them up on that request! :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PPS – Apparently someone from this town is spreading this post like wildfire. Opinions are a mixed bag, from those that are “appauled” that I somehow got the idea that the concept of “pagent” somehow relates to beauty (go figure), to those who feel I’ve merely given voice to opinions secretly held by many. Who would have thought this would have become such a hot-button issue, like, five months after the fact??

At any rate, apparently (according to a couple of commenters), this “pagent” is all about inner beauty, and character, and charity work, and whatnot…which apparently is best judged in ballgowns and tiaras. My mistake! :D